- Why is the transgender person attending my church? What are they looking for?
- What is my church's policy about church membership or leadership for transgender people?
With the rare exceptions of true intersex people, those who are born with some or all characteristics of both sexes and can legitimately choose which sex they want to live as, we are all born as one of only two sexes, either male or female, each of us with greater or lesser degrees of estrogen or testosterone influencing inclinations and appearance.
It is unconscionable that the Christian community does not accept intersex people for who they are. Many of whom hide it or gravitate to LGBTQ communities because they are largely rejected by mainstream culture and Christians.
But what about those who are not intersex, those who simply don't like the sex they were born as, or those who sincerely believe they were born in the wrong body? This is becoming an upfront and personal issue in churches and will likely only become more prevalent.
Transwomen (biological males) are the most likely to attend churches without hiding the fact that they are biological males who wish to look like, dress like, be addressed as, and be treated as, and even surgically, as much as possible, become women.
On the other hand, seeing transmen (biological females) in churches, is not as common. Are they there? Most likely. There are various reasons why some women choose to hide the fact that they were born female. Gender bias is the age-old and number one reason for this. This is still the case today, especially in churches. One woman told her story of why she lived as a man, and that was the reason she gave. She not only lived as a man and no one guessed the truth, but for ten years she was a loved and respected [supposed male] leader in her church.
She said she grew up wanting to be a boy because her father bullied and abused her and her mother while treating her brothers well. She learned early to equate weakness with female and strength with male. She attributed being strictly limited to being female and longed for the almost limitless autonomy men had.
She watched boys get preferential treatment because they were male. For these reasons she decided, early on, that she no longer wanted to be a girl. But after ten years of lying to everyone in her church about who she was, they somehow found out the truth.
Amazingly, her church family did not throw her out. They suggested and she agreed to an extended hiatus from leadership while she and they worked out whatever needed to be worked out.
According to her, it took a while, but today, years later, she still attends that same church and has been reinstated as a Bible teacher and church leader. Only today, she leads as the biological woman she is.
It was not a simple, cut and dry, process. And it took a great deal of time and patience. We can't even imagine the effort. But, in the end, love prevailed. She did not lose her beloved church family, and they did not lose a precious sister and beloved leader.
History is rife with stories of women who posed as men (historical transmen), because men had autonomy, freedom, and opportunity that women did not have. Women still don't have these in complementarian churches and marriages.
Some women posing as men don't want to simply be treated and addressed as males, they want everyone to believe they were born as males. So, they pass as males. They are not interested in having their transgender-status recognized and approved. With hormone therapies and surgeries, some women are very successful at passing as biological males.
So, how should we, as Believers, feel about professing Christians who want to be recognized and accepted as transgender people?
I have no conflict with showing unbiased Christian love to all people, and that includes transgender people. But this does not extend to lying to them by telling them the Bible does not address transgenderism. It does, and it is forbidden to God's people. For our good.
If a transgender person asks me what the Bible says about it, I will tell them the truth. If they do not ask me, I will continue to treat them with love and respect, but I will keep my opinions about their lifestyle choices to myself. I will not gossip about them with other Believers. That being said, I will also not sit under the ministry leadership of a transgender person or of a non-transgender person who teaches that God is Ok with it.
Sharing about an experience I had earlier in my ministry may be helpful here. I was called to street ministry for a season. And for two years, I preached the Good News on the streets of Winter Haven, FL. I held Sunday meetings in a local park for the homeless and hungry. Some began spontaneously calling me pastor. The majority of people I met with every Sunday, were practicing alcoholics and drug addicts. Though I never preached about the sin that was devastating their lives--they already knew that--many told me how deeply my ministry had impacted them for the good.
As a leader, did I ever broach the subject of their sin? Yes. I was forced to deal with those who wanted to come to my meetings high or drunk and wanting to participate in leadership by publicly preaching or praying. After dealing with disruptions for a while, I wondered if I should even be holding meetings with this unruly group, most of whom lived openly sinful lifestyles. Our outdoor meeting smelled like a brewery. It literally reeked of alcohol.
My religiosities were challenged.
As I struggled with knowing what I should do, I considered giving up. I wasn't sure if it was even right to be worshipping with these people in the condition they were in every Sunday morning, after a Saturday night of carousing. You see, this meeting wasn't a church-project for me. It was where I went to worship every Sunday morning, and I worshipped with whoever came to join me. The Holy Spirit gave me a choice that forever changed my perspective and attitude. I was asked if I would stay and feed the flock God had given me, or if I would give up, walk away, and abandon them?
I chose to stay and be their shepherd. But I made one change. I told the group that everyone was welcome to attend my meetings, in any condition they were in (today, that would include transgender people), but I told them that if they were drunk or high, I would not allow them to publicly preach, pray, read the Bible to the group, or lead the group in any other way. And, because the men in my group (mostly men attended) could make flamboyant and disruptive entrances, I instructed them to slip in quietly, sit down, and enjoy the ministry in word and song. They were Ok with that. Anyone who didn't like the policy just didn't come back, and there were a few who didn't.
Another story along that line. Later, when I was praise and worship leader at a brick and mortar, traditional, church, our church drummer showed up for practice drunk one evening. I quietly drew him aside and told him I could not allow him to practice with us in that condition. I didn't summarily throw him out of the group, but he left offended. We never saw him in church again. About three years later, I received an email from him. He thanked me for what I had done three years earlier. He said it had been a wake-up call for him. He told me that he had since sobered up and married a wonderful godly woman, and that he had been called to preach and was currently in Bible college.
Yes, these stories do relate to Christian response to the transgender issue and how we should feel about transgender people with hungry hearts visiting our churches in their searches for truth and peace. Would to God our churches were filled with them!
Most of the alcoholics and drug addicts that regularly attended my Sunday meetings had hungry hearts. Oh, they had hungry bellies for sure, but they came to feed on the Word of God as well. The evidence of this, is that though I fed them physical food, I fed them spiritual food first, and the overwhelming majority came early for the spiritual food.
What they did with the spiritual food was between them and God, but all hungry hearts were welcome in my meetings, though leadership was reserved for those who chose to forsake all and follow Jesus. I see no difference in applying the same policy to transgender people attending church meetings, as I applied to those who attended my street meetings all those years ago.
The Bible calls men trying to be women and women trying to be men ... sin. It is forbidden to God's people. The Bible calls a lot of things sin that Christian leaders should be gently and lovingly dealing with. Sin of every sort is harmful to us but is becoming the cultural norms, and we must not lie to people about what the Bible says or does not say about any topic. God's love-letter to us, the Bible, forbids certain things to his followers--for our good--transgenderism is but one of them.
That being said, there is never justification--ever--for treating anyone with hatred or disdain.
Every human being is created in the image of God, is loved by our Creator, and is a soul for whom Christ died. Even if strong leadership (like that which was needed with my street ministry troublemakers and with the drummer in our church's praise and worship group) is called for, it should always be handled with gentleness, humility, compassion, and love.
- We should welcome all hungry hearts (emphasis on hungry hearts) into our church meetings--including transgender people.
- Our churches should have policies of lovingly not lying to people about what the Bible says about transgenderism or any other issue.
- Our churches should have biblical policies in place about who can or cannot lead.
- Our churches should not have an across-the-board policy of refusing to allow hungry hearts, including transgender people to attend meetings.
Everyone needs love. It is not a hard thing to love when we understand that true Christlike and biblical love does not mean we compromise our convictions or accept every lifestyle, or make everyone feel good about choices that may ultimately bring them harm, perhaps even lead to losing their souls.
Love is being not afraid to tell life-giving truth.
Can gay people be saved?
Jocelyn Andersen: My Statement of Life
The Hungry Hearts Bible Commentary
