Healing from abuse


When we are finally able to leave the hurt behind, we are much more effective in helping others who have experienced similar hurts.

All those years ago, when I was experiencing and writing about my insights into domestic violence, I knew that one day I would write a book about it, but I also kept hearing the small still voice of the Holy Spirit telling me I wasn't ready just yet, there was more I needed to learn...and to be healed from.

I couldn't help others until I was truly free in every way.

Today, I hold no animus against anyone. I lose no sleep at night being tormented by hurts others have inflicted on me. Giving abusers free rent in our heads doesn't bother them, in fact, they love it. But true freedom comes when we can sincerely pray for their freedom, for their happiness.

Doing so doesn't mean the abuse we suffered is minimized or invalidated, or that we must give them continued access to us by allowing them back into our lives. Their time for that is past. But it does mean that we can live our lives--every day--free from thoughts and emotions that will not only continue to harm us but others as well.

One thing that helped me walk away from excruciating emotional pain and crippling anger, was a question the Holy Spirit asked me, "WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO FEEL VALIDATED, HOW MUCH PAIN WOULD HE HAVE TO ENDURE TO TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY?"

I couldn't imagine that any amount of pain inflicted on my abuser could ever take my pain away or validate my suffering. In that moment, I gave it up. I knew I could never win that one. Wisdom is knowing when to throw in the towel, and my battle for validation and freedom from emotional pain was futile. I finally understood that it was a battle I was not created or equipped to win. That understanding enabled me to give all my pain and hard feelings to my Creator, who said, "Vengeance is mine..."

If those who hurt me were never sorry for what they did, then they have a bad time awaiting them. I don't wish harm on anyone, even those who caused me great suffering and distress. I pray they will come to true repentance and receive forgiveness from the only one from whom it really counts. My forgiveness is for me. My forgiveness is for my freedom. I have no control over theirs.

No one gets free rent in my head. And they shouldn't in yours either.

Child Custody Abuse

American family courts are destroying lives and have been for decades. I call it the family court holocaust.

In any other situation (besides this nation's corrupt family court system), the term "Mama Bear" is an affectionate term assigned to hero mothers. Protective mothers are unsung but libeled, slandered, and cruelly punished national heroes.

One family court Judge unbelievably removed children from a loving mother's custody (handing the children over to a documented abuser), calling the mother's behavior "irrational" in interfering with visitation while trying to protect her children from physical and sexual abuse, overwhelming evidence of which was presented in court.

I say the mother's behavior was perfectly rational and exactly what one would expect from any mother (mama bear) protecting her children from the horrific and documented crimes of the abusive father.

Christian response to unwed motherhood

How many times have we heard disparaging words spoken against large families being born to unwed mothers, or against unwed fathers having multiple children by multiple mothers (but we know most of the time hard words are aimed at the mothers)? 

How can we forget that God knew every one of us before we were conceived, regardless of the circumstances of our conception? We were all known and planned by God from before the foundation of the earth.  

Because of this, we should never utter those hateful words, that all of us have heard so often about unwed mothers, "Doesn't she know where babies come from?" 

Babies come from the heart of God. He knows each one of us before we are ever formed in our mother's wombs. 

Can we say of anyone that our Creator did not know them before they were conceived? Did he not have a plan for their lives as well as for ours? 

The parents might have lived less than righteous lives. And their children and society might pay a price for it. After we are born, whether to married or unmarried parents, we might or might not live righteous lives. But the conception of NO ONE is an "accident." 

Motherhood should be honored and protected. And that isn't done by hanging scarlet letters around the necks of unwed mothers. And I'm talking to churches here. Embrace the motherhood of even unwed mothers. Love those expectant mothers. Stop looking down our noses at them. Christian response to unwed motherhood is to reach out to and embrace those mothers. 

Loving and accepting unwed mothers does not mean that immoral behavior is encouraged or condoned. But once a child is conceived, the time for censure is over, and the time for loving community becomes paramount. These mothers must be embraced and shown the love of God. They will be much more inclined to serve a Savior whose love and compassion is demonstrated by those who claim to belong to him. 

Every birth should be celebrated. Think of the wonderful difference that can be made in the lives of unwed mothers and their children when we accept their impending motherhood with open arms and offer love and practical assistance as they wait and prepare for the joyful birth of their child.

Why can't we just be ourselves?

 How often do we weigh ourselves in the balance (compare ourselves to others) and come up lacking? Who says we're lacking? Who says we are not exactly who we were created to be? 

Works in progress

Has the Gift of Apostle and Passed Away?

If the ministry gift of apostle passed away with the original twelve, then Paul could not have been an apostle (Romans 1:1-5). But we know that Paul was an apostle. Although, he was not apostle number twelve nor even apostle number 13. 

Matthias was apostle number twelve (he was numbered with the eleven: Acts 1:26). That means Matthias was likely included in that special group that will be represented in the foundations of the New Jerusalem known as "The Apostles of the Lamb," those who walked with Jesus from the baptism of John until he ascended (Revelation 21:14, Acts 1:20-26).

If the ministry gifts listed in Romans 12 and Ephesians 4 have passed away, then we no longer have evangelists, pastors, or teachers either, as no difference or division was made in any of the lists as to perpetuity, aside from the fact that none of the gifts will be needed once the Body of Christ is complete. 

If the ministry gift of apostle had passed away with the original twelve apostles, then Barnabus could not have been an apostle, but the Bible says he was (Acts 14:14).

Andronicus and Junia were in Christ before Paul, and the Bible says that among the apostles, these two were notable (Romans 16:7). Andronicus and Junia were apostles.

Paul included the gifts of apostle and prophet when he expounded on the gifts of the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:28-31. 

In 1 Corinthians 15:7 and Galatians 1:19, James the brother of Jesus is named as an apostle. So far, just in this article, we find six apostles who were not included in the original twelve. That makes 18 apostles. And they were not the only ones. 

In 2 Corinthians 11:13 Paul wrote of false apostles, but nowhere did he say the gift and calling had passed away or would pass away before the return of Christ. He simply said that some who claimed to be apostles were frauds. I write about in more detail in my book. But Paul's warning did not mean that all who claimed to be apostles were frauds or the gift passed away. 

In Ephesians 2:19-22 we are told that God's building is built upon the foundation of apostles and prophets. We are told that Jesus is the capstone (cornerstone) of God's building. 

Only one structure in the world has a capstone, and that is a pyramid. The Holy Jerusalem is foursquare. A pyramid is a foursquare structure with a capstone. The Holy Jerusalem is not a cube like the Borg in Star Trek have. Cubes do not have capstones. 

Where is the capstone located on a pyramid? At the bottom? No. The capstone is located at the top. Jesus is the Capstone of his building made of Living Stones. 

Ephesians 2:19-20 does not even hint that the ministry gift of apostle has passed away, only that the gifts are significant to the foundational building of the Body of Christ. Now this goes for the ministry gift of prophet as well.

Ephesians 4:11 is written in the present tense. English-translation-theology erroneously teaches that Jesus gave (past tense). But the Greek is written in present tense. Jesus GIVES. Still today, Jesus continues to GIVE his people apostles and prophets, as well as evangelists, pastors, and teachers. 

Ephesians 4:12 tells us what he gives them for. Ministry gifts are given FOR the adjusting (literal Greek) of his people. Don't we constantly need adjusting in our faith walk and spiritual growth?  When did the need for God's people to adjust pass away?

Ephesians 4:12 goes on to tell us that ALL the gifts are given for THE WORK OF THE MINISTRY. When did the need for the work of the ministry pass away?

Lastly, Ephesians 4:12 tells us that ALL the gifts are for the edifying--the enlightening and enriching--of the Body of Christ. When did the Body of Christ lose the need to be enlightened and enriched? 

We can never forget that Jesus said it was upon the rock of revelation that he would build his Out-Called (both individually and collectively. God's Building made of Living Stones. Each stone is an individual member of The Body of Christ, built into the collective whole of the Body. 

None of the ministry gifts can operate without revelation, including the commonly accepted gifts of evangelists, pastors, and teachers. 

Those who hate revelation, hate the ministry gifts they believe require it. Sadly, those who hate revelation deny the "lesser" gifts need it--hence, pastor's toolboxes and organizations dedicated to teaching pastors and teachers how to regurgitate someone else's ideas in how to fulfill their callings, without the need for personal revelation. 

But ALL the gifts include revelation. If a so-called evangelist, pastor, or teacher does not depend on revelation from the Holy Spirit, and the anointing and teaching of the Holy Spirit, then they are frauds.   

Ephesians 4:13 tells us exactly when ALL the ministry gifts of the Holy Spirit will no longer be needed. Jesus gives (and will continue giving) these gifts, for the adjustment, enlightenment and enrichment of his people, and for the work of the ministry to continue, UNTIL we are all in unity and complete in our knowledge of Christ--i.e., until Jesus comes and we see him as he is, for, at that time, we will be like him.

Ephesians 4:14-16 tells us that ALL these gifts will protect us from being tossed about from here to yonder with every wind of doctrine that any charlatan decides to throw at us. 

That is why, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we judge every word by the WORD OF GOD. What we do not do, is throw the baby (the Spiritual Gifts) out with the bathwater because we are afraid of the supernatural spiritual gifts that Jesus still GIVES today.

Woman's Rights Men

Did you know that most abolitionists were also advocates for equality of the sexes?

Theodore Weld, who trained abolition activists and eventually married Sarah Grimke, was legendary for his courage. Despite criticism, he welcomed women into the abolition movement and insisted on treating them as autonomous equals.

In fact, the abolition movement is what kicked off the American Woman's Rights Movement. Weld trained women alongside men and treated them as self-governing equals in every way.

Weld and Grimke's egalitarian marriage lasted happily for over four decades.

Another well-known abolitionist was Frederick Douglas, who declared that he was proud to be denominated as a woman's rights man.

Woman this is WAR! Gender, Slavery & the Evangelical Caste System: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429323: Amazon.com: Books

Is Governance by women oppressive and dangerous?

Does our Creator use women and children as curses and threats like early Hebrew rabbi's did...and Bible translators (of all nationalities) still do. 

For example, Isaiah 3:12 is consistently translated as: As for my people children are their oppressors and women rule over them. But translators routinely point out the alternate translation of:  "As for my people abusers are their oppressors and exacters (tax collectors) rule over them."

Comments: Isaiah 3:12 “I think we find another case of prejudiced translation in Isaiah 3:12. The word translated “children” in this verse in Isaiah, is a plural masculine participle of the verb “to glean,” “abuse,” “practice.” It is translated “glean” in Leviticus 19:10, Deuteronomy 24:21, Judges 20:45, and Jeremiah 6:9.

The word has no translation such as “children” anywhere else in the Bible, and it occurs 21 times. Another word altogether is used for “children,” and “child,” in verses 4 and 5 of this same chapter; the sense [in verse 12] seems to have been fixed by the supposed context, to correspond with “women.”

As to the word translated “women:” [The] two words [women and exacters], without the rabbinical vowel points, are exactly alike. One is pronounced nosh-im and the other na-shim. In appearance the only difference is a slight mark under the first letter of the Hebrew word na-shim. The first word means “exactors;” the one with a vowel mark under the initial letter means “women.”

The entire decision, therefore, as to whether the word means one or the other depends upon OPTION.

Those who pointed the word, evidently thought the nation could sink no lower than to pass under women rulers, and then translated the word “children” to match it. Commentators frequently call attention to the alternate reading."  (all emphasis mine) –100 Bible Studies on Woman’s Place in the Divine Economy by Katharine C. Bushnell (1856-1946)


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