Read an excerpt of my debut novel in progress HERE.
Mystery | Romance | Suspense
Jocelyn Andersen's Debut Novel
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
Caring for aging parents
A wise person once asked me how I could take care of number two if I didn't take care of number one first.
I got a crash course in this when I became caregiver to my mother with Alzheimer's and dementia.
I learned how important it is to take care of number one when a person becomes a caregiver and begins living two lives, with things quickly becoming reversed and number one becoming the person we are caring for, while we regulate ourselves to number two, ... giving ourselves whatever time and energy is left over, which is usually not much.
But it is so important not to neglect ourselves, not to give up doing things that are good for us. Not to give up things we love or are passionate about, not to allow our lives to completely disappear into the care-giving role we've committed to.
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
My life after age 65
Ok, I'm living out loud here. I don't usually do this but just feel like it today. Ah the joys of getting older and breaking loose from artificial or external constraints. I don't have to worry about my blog or social media content affecting my workplace environment. Because guess what? I don't have a workplace environment!
Don't get me wrong. I still work. I stay plenty busy working from home writing and doing editing jobs. But, oh my, I do love being retired!
My first few years after retirement were spent traveling to spend time with children and help out with grandchildren. Then my aging mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, which we suspected she had suffered from for quite some time. My siblings and I continue to work together caring for mom.
I read as much as I can. All kinds of books. This is my second year doing Goodreads reading challenge. You can follow me there for tracking my progress if you like.
I'm currently doing research on a new non-fiction book project--I have been asked by a New York publisher for a book proposal! And I've begun publishing second editions of my older-but-evergreen non-fiction titles, ... and I'm working on my first novel!
And in my retirement, I've become a gig musician of all things. Follow my music page on Facebook if you like. Links to my music are there. I love , love, LOVE it! Among my favorite places to sing are memory care and adult day care facilities--plenty of those in central Florida.
I'm slowly working my way into the coffee shop and folk festival scene and having a blast. I'll be singing at Barberville's Playing on the Porches event in a few weeks. It will be my third Porches event this year and is one of my absolute favorites! The handsome fella next to me in the picture (right) is my son. It doesn't get any better than gigging with your kid!
One of my goals for 2025 (God willing and Jesus don't come) is to compete in the power-lifting competition at the senior games in my county. No, I won't be doing bench-presses, lol :), but I may be able to make a good showing in the deadlift category for my age-group. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, and I'm working on strength and endurance. Today I walked 3 miles on the treadmill at an average pace of over three miles an hour with an average heart rate of 85 bpm. I plan to improve on that within thirty days.
Back to the music, which is front and center for me right now. Just because I sing professionally these days, doesn't mean I don't enjoy hanging out with friends at my favorite open mics. I have a few favorite haunts in that respect--and I'm considering adding karaoke at a local diner to that.
So, bottom line is I'm finding life after 65 to be great fun!
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
Is Jocelyn Andersen a Domestic Violence Coach or Counselor?
The picture (above/left) is me (far right) with an anonymous litigating Protective Mom (far left) and protective mother Amanda Joy (middle). We attended the 2008 Battered Mothers Custody Conference together. Our tee shirts read "SHINE A LIGHT ON DOMESTIC VIOLENC."
I write to increase awareness and occasionally speak. Most recently, I have been invited to speak at a church luncheon in the FL Panhandle.
I don't professionally counsel or coach victims. I do what I can, and I don't hesitate to refer to local resources, DV hotlines, or to the national hotline if a local one is not available. There is much more we can do, but in some cases, referring to the hotline and shelter is the only safe thing (for all involved--including the advocate...even if a relative) to do.
One awesome advocate, who is a survivor and very good friend of mine, was helped by her local hotline where she was counseled for quite some time before being helped to escape from her abusive and violent husband. She then lived in the shelter for months.
She sought help from her church leadership before calling the local domestic violence hotline, but they refused to help her because her abuser was the youth pastor there.
I save the number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, along with numbers to local hotlines, shelters, and resources in my phone contacts and advise others to do the same, especially pastors. It's not a Christian cop-out to do this, and it could save lives.
National Domestic Violence Hotline 800.799.SAFE (7233)
Early in my advocacy I spearheaded a project to empower Church leaders and lay-Christians to respond knowledgeably, compassionately, and biblically to victims of DV. I received an overwhelmingly positive response from church members, but not a single pastor responded. The church members who were interested in heading the project at their churches couldn't get it past their pastor's desks.
Here is a link to the original press release
http://www.christiannewswire.com/news/782355128.html
Here is a link to a more detailed announcement another advocate wrote about the project. It's a shame the project was stalled by church leaders. That was in 2008. Maybe it was before its time. Maybe I should try again. What do you think? https://ajoyrn.tripod.com/
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
A sad anniversary for the SBC
This year marks a sad anniversary for Southern Baptists. 21-years-ago, on May 7, 2003, the Southern Baptist (SBC) International Missions Board (IMB) lost 43 missionaries in one day, due to pressure to sign the 2000 Baptist Faith & Message, which excluded women from general leadership and demanded submission to husbands excluded women from general leadership and demanded submission to husbands.
Why not sign?
“Don and Angie Finley, of Brazil, are two of the
missionaries whose resignations were accepted by the IMB on that day. They
declared they were ‘not resigning because we have a problem with grassroots
Southern Baptists’ or ‘because we have done anything wrong or have something to
hide. When a Baptist missionary sending agency demands doctrinal accountability
on the basis of a man-made document rather than on the basis of Scripture,
something is wrong…When unnamed critics are taken seriously when they make
vague, generalized, and unsubstantiated accusations against doctrinally sound
and spiritually committed missionaries, something is wrong. When denominational
politics takes precedence over mission priorities and missionaries themselves
are made pawns in a denominational political game, something is wrong."
Group that demanded apology over view
of women’s roles still waiting (baptiststandard.com)
Apologies if Baptist Standard deleted some of these
stories. The links will remain.
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2003/5_19/pages/terminations.html
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2002/10_21/pages/imb.html
The Bottom Line
It is suspected that the “small group of really vicious
people” making policy at the IMB were more concerned with female subordination
than with anything else. Dill continues explaining why he and his wife could
not sign the 2000 Baptist Faith & Message: “Insertion of language that a
wife should ‘submit herself graciously’ to her husband, while ignoring ‘the
injunction of Paul to submit to each other.’ Insertion of a statement that ‘the
office of pastor is limited to men.’ In China, women pastor a majority of the
churches,’ Dill said. ‘In Germany, we have a number of women who are Baptist
pastors and do an exemplary job of service. ... Does this mean all of these
women are serving out of God's will?’"
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2002/10_21/pages/imb.html
The Crux of the Matter
If missionary wives did not agree to submit graciously to their husbands and forsake the priesthood of every believer in favor of a priesthood composed of only male believers, then missionary couples would no longer be supported by the Southern Baptist International Missions Board and must either support themselves or come home.
On May 7, 2003, 30 missionaries resigned. 13 were fired. It
was the “largest mass exodus in the history of the Southern Baptist
Convention's International Mission Board. 'We've never had anything close to
this,’ said Alan Lefever, director of the Texas Baptist Historical Collection.”
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2003/5_19/pages/terminations.html
This year also marks the fourteenth anniversary of the Seneca Falls-2 Christian Conference held in Orlando, FL on July 24, 2010.
Videos from the conference: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-UfXCUhce1BiitK-kKXFTcrFvRNGYJTC
Again, apologies if Baptist Standard deleted some of these stories. The links will remain.
News
from the conference: Group that demanded apology over view of women's roles
still waiting (baptiststandard.com)
http://www.baptiststandard.com/2003/5_19/pages/terminations.html
... Woman this is WAR! Gender, Slavery & the Evangelical Caste System: Andersen, Jocelyn: 9780979429323: Amazon.com: Books
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
For Victims' Advocates of Corrupt Family Courts
Dear Advocates:
I am
currently doing research for a book about corrupt family court systems and
am interested in any suggestion from you on chapter topics.
I am
looking at approximately ten chapters, each on a different topic related to the
most pressing issues of protective mothers and family court. I am already
researching several topics and hope you might suggest others.
My current
book on the family court system, is intended for a much broader audience than
my previous books, which were faith-based. I have received communications from two publishers who have expressed
interest in my next book.
I am also looking for personal stories related to family court experience. Identities will be kept confidential where requested, as I understand many are still involved in litigation and involve children who have not yet aged out of the system.
I
appreciate your advocacy and any suggestions from you on chapter topics or subtopics will be
most welcome. ~~ Jocelyn
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
Toxically Feminine or Masculine
There is such thing as being toxically feminine and toxically masculine.
Being toxically feminine or masculine takes place when one is intelligent, articulate, and fully aware of their deliberate words or actions and the effects on others of those. They speak, act, and write in deliberately toxically biased ways against the opposite sex.
Men who are toxically masculine are generally more easily identified by their actions, speech, and writing than are women who are toxically feminine. That is likely the case because we are more prone to look for such in men that in women.
There is more than one way to be toxically masculine or toxically feminine, but this article only deals with one for each sex. Each example below can be assigned to either sex but is used to highlight the sex that uses the method most often.
One example of being toxically feminine: Deferring publicly to men when the woman either does not necessarily believe it is the right thing to do but does it anyway because they are men, or she does believe that women should defer to men and wastes few opportunities to influence others towards her belief system--most particularly her children. Her words and actions are intelligently premeditated and deliberate. Women who are toxically feminine, are fully aware and fully understand that their words and actions influence others concerning their own toxic belief system. This makes a woman toxically feminine.
One example of being toxically masculine: Rendering women invisible by always referring to mixed crowds or the human race in general as ** "men, his, or him" when they know full well this is not only incorrect but is offensive to many. Men who are toxically masculine offend deliberately in this regard. An author, whose work I generally admire, makes a point of calling all humans "men" ... every single time. Lots of authors do this, as it is generally (wrongly) accepted as Ok to refer to humanity as "man." So, what makes person's references deliberately toxic? His references are deliberate, intelligent, and premeditated. He is amazingly articulate and knows better. But regarding women, he deliberately uses semantics in making the point that he believes men are more important that women, and he wastes no opportunity in semantically rendering women invisible by hiding them under semantic burqas. Many men do this, and this makes a man toxically masculine.
** This author does not subscribe to the toxically feminine habit (even when used by well-meaning men) of referring to all humanity or mixed crowds as "she" or "her." This is an extreme reaction, and though often well-meaning, is not helpful in ending the very real but tragic war between the sexes.
It is possible be feminine or masculine in healthy ways. Men and women are different in so many wonderful ways, but illegitimately prescribing our differences rather than legitimately describing them, is what creates toxic femininity or masculinity.
Jocelyn Andersen: Christian Masculinity
Deconstructing the Danvers Statement - by Jocelyn Andersen (substack.com)
Biblical Autonomy of the Sexes (becauseoftheaggelos.blogspot.com)
Jocelyn Andersen is the author of several non-fiction books. Her work has been featured in magazines, newspapers, radio, and television. She is currently working on her first novel.
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