Grieving the loss of unwanted divorce


 Who do you know who may be grieving a loss due to death or an unwanted divorce (even if the divorce was a life-saving necessity due to something as ugly and life-threatening as domestic violence)?

The former we tend to remember and, with long-suffering and great compassion, usually support and encourage in their grief.

The latter we tend to view differently and, no matter the reason for an unwanted divorce, usually expect them to "just get over it" and move on.

Everyone deserves respect and compassion for their losses. Remember, whether we can relate to it as a loss or not (especially in the case of an unwanted divorce due to domestic violence or abuse), it may indeed be a terrible loss to them.

I remember grieving hard over divorcing my abusive spouse. I loved him and wanted him to get the help he so desperately needed. I wanted him to change. I wanted our marriage to work. But I knew my entire life would likely be destroyed or even lost if I pursued that dream. So, I was the one who filed for an unwanted divorce...and I grieved...and almost no one grieved with me (I write about that in my book).

Regardless of the reason for an unwanted divorce, give those who experience it time, support, and the space and encouragement to grieve their losses.

Today is National Grief Awareness Day. Who do you know who may be deeply grieving an unwanted divorce?

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